Leading Ladies on Life Moscow

 

Leading Ladies on Life Moscow Marina Somers, half-Serbian, half-Russian and 100 percent New Yorker, came to Moscow as an expatriate five years ago. While speaking with Maxine Maters, publisher of The Moscow Times, the blonde Somers (pictured above right) told stories from her life as a foreigner in Moscow and offered expat women advice on how to get the most out of their time here. Your background allows you to offer a unique perspective on what it is like to live in Moscow as a female expat... I am what’s referred to as an emigre that came to America after World War II. I was born in Yugoslavia. My mother, Russian, and father, Serbian, met as prisoners of war — inmates in Germany. My mother was divorced and forced to leave Yugoslavia. She escaped in the middle of the night with a knapsack on her back. We lived in Italy for four years. Then my mother finally got her visa, and we came to America. Because my grandmother lived with us, she forced me to speak Russian to her all the time. And as you can imagine, I’m extremely grateful to her, because I never thought that my life would take me here. Russia was not on my radar screen whatsoever. I used to travel to Russia as a tourist, of course, but my whole life was America, was New York. How did you end up in Moscow? My husband came home and said, “Guess what? I think I’d like to go to Moscow.” It sounded very exciting. And initially, he and I were not going to be here together. We had an agreement that he would come here and fulfill his contract for three years and that I would fly back and forth. But, as fate would have it, I was headhunted by [recruitment firm] Heidrick & Struggles. I thought it was a wonderful opportunity. I didn’t really like the idea of us being separated by continents and oceans. I came on board at Heidrick, and then, three years ago, I started my own firm. So, I have been experienced in living as an expat wife but working immediately, which is probably a little different than most expats here. You’re so busy running a business, what do you with your free time? I make time for other things. My husband and I entertain a great deal. We give on average four dinner parties a month with about 15 to 16 people at the dinner table. I also have my passion, which is art, and that never will go away. I scour the galleries, and I spend a great deal of time at Izmailovo market, which is one of my passions, looking out for the things that I collect and that I’m interested in. I’m usually in Izmailovo by 6:30 or 7 every Saturday morning. I’ve found some extraordinary things. I wake up at 5 in the morning to read for two hours. I have a wonderful reading club that I started. We have guest authors, Russians, contemporary authors. What was the last book you read? “Russian Conservatism and Its Critics — A Study in Political Culture” by Richard Pipes What should tourists know before planning a trip to Russia? The most important issue for anyone coming to Russia is to have some understanding of Russia’s history and Russia’s cultural contribution. If you don’t have that, it’s very difficult to understand this country. It’s very difficult to understand how complex it is and why it is such a challenging place to live in. You have to understand the Russian psyche and the Russian spirit. And if you come here with no preparation, I think it would be very difficult to really enjoy one’s time here. Many expats become frustrated with the day-to-day grind of living in Russia. Unlike London, Paris, Rome and New York, this is a city that is not easy to live in, even though it’s gotten superbly better in the past five years that I’ve been here. The things that we Westerners take for granted and assume to be there are just not necessarily here. So, I think the expats who are successful here, in their work experience and daily life experience, are those people who attempt to understand this country. Also, you need to study this language. If you don’t make the attempt to learn the alphabet or to read the street signs, you feel like you’re on Mars. Expats have to help themselves a little bit to enjoy this city. How does a foreigner start to develop the sense that Moscow is a good place? You do it as you would in any new town that you come to. I think it’s wonderful to join the International Women’s Club and American Women’s Organization, but you’re sort of living your own experience when you just limit yourself to that. You’ve got to understand what the average Russian, or even the not-so-average Russian, endures here and puts up with. Otherwise, you could be anywhere — it wouldn’t make any difference that you were in Moscow, and I think that would be very sad. You need to have the place that you are living in make some sort of an imprint on your psyche. And lord knows Russia can certainly do that very easily. I think expats should really attempt to have some Russian friends. Most of them tend to stay in their own expat community, which I understand, especially those with children. How do you make Russian friends? If your husband is working in a company that has lots of Russian nationals, you socialize with them. If there are certain people you like, you have to invite them to your home. Russians are extremely sociable, and they love to sit around in the kitchen. That is one way. Your children may have friends who are Russian and whose parents are Russian, so you try to create some unity that way. I have found that Russians take friendship very seriously. They live and die by their concept of friendship. If you are befriended by a Russian, you can assure yourself that you will probably have that friend for life and they will probably do anything for you. What experiences can help a foreigner understand that this country is unique, different and worthwhile? The cultural life is extraordinary, and very rich and very easy to tap into. I go to the theater a great deal with my husband. The musical world here is extraordinary. There is no excuse, because the tickets are inexpensive. There is a much greater breadth of musical exposure than I get in New York. There are some wonderful museums here. I think expats should familiarize themselves with Russian painting. There are some very talented contemporary artists. So that’s a world that one can easily get into. And you do that in the same way you do in Paris, London and New York, by going to galleries. And what else? Well, Izmailovo is a wonderful experience. I think you should go to a typical Russian market. I think that is an unbelievable experience. What was the last piece of entertainment you saw in Moscow? [Samuel] Beckett’s “Happy Days”. It sounds like you are having a positive experience overall. Did you ever have any days when you thought, “This is not going to work”? I’ve never thought that it was not going to work. The difficulties I have are with regard to running a small business in this country. Here you are overwhelmed by the horrific bureaucracy that the government imposes on all businesses. You spend a great portion of your day signing and stamping documents where you should be conducting your business. That’s the only time when I start tearing my hair out. What do you say to those expats who do struggle with the daily challenges of living here? Let’s face it. We’re very spoiled in the West. We really are. Things go smoothly, things work like a dream. I arrive in New York and everything is just the way it’s supposed to be. Here, you get a barricade practically everywhere that you turn. You have to be patient. You have to be forgiving. Because the bottom line, guys, is that we are guests here. And we need to respect that. Some of the things I hear expats say about this country — if a Russian came to New York and started talking about America that way, I would be really ticked. I think we lose that sense of sensitivity sometimes because it is a challenge to live here. What compensates for all the challenges of living in Moscow? When I get off the airplane, despite Sheremetyevo’s depressing environment, I feel an immediate buzz. It’s the same buzz that I feel in New York, but I feel a greater buzz here. There’s more of an electric energy in the air the minute that you land. I experience it consistently on a daily basis. I’m never in a situation of feeling bored. What is your comfort food? I grew up eating Russian food: pelmeni, borshch. To me, there is nothing better than a dish of pelmeni with sour cream and dill on top. But there are some days where suddenly I am dying for a McDonald’s hamburger, and I will go out and buy a McDonald’s hamburger. Do you ever feel homesick? No! If you are an emigre psychologically, you don’t feel homesick as a result. What is the most unusual restaurant you’ve been to in Moscow? Turandot — an amalgamation of brilliance and tackiness and bad taste but an extraordinary feat. The food was excellent and the service wonderful. Do you have any items or comforts of home that you bring back from the States? Bounce fabric softener, large industrial-quality garbage bags, and Power Bars — Power Bars save your day. Where do you buy your clothes? I don’t even think about clothes here. There is no middle ground. There are either the expensive brands or the cheap, poor-quality clothes and nothing in between. The concept of the outlet mall has not come to Russia. Somebody should start that business, even bring a Gap in here — that middle level. For women in business, it’s tough to find an attractive business suit that doesn’t cost $500 or $1,000. Are there any deals here? The one thing that is inexpensive is framing. The frames are imported from Italy and England. I would recommend that expats frame their art here, because when I compare the prices it’s mind-boggling. What is your favorite neighborhood? I love Povarskaya Ulitsa. I like it because it’s more homogenous. I think that walking here, you can feel 19th-century Russia. You feel suddenly transported to the world of Tolstoy and Dostoevsky. That’s when I feel that buzz. Do you think you will be here for an indefinite amount of time? We will be here as long as the country wants us to be here. What is your message to other expats? Throw yourself into this country as if it is the adventure of your life, because the opportunity will never be repeated. You are participating in a historical moment, and I feel that daily. Every single day in Russia is a development in the history of this country, and we are immersed in it. We are responsible for it. We’re contributing to it. But also, we’re taking from it.

06.06.2006  By Jamie S. Rich