나의 인생 에이즈 생활 모습(BBC 자료, My life with HIV)

Charles

It is World Aids Day on Thursday 1 December. To mark the international day of action and awareness Kenyan Charles Sako, who is HIV-positive, tells his story.

He lives in Kibera, a vast slum in the East African country's capital, Nairobi. A patient of Medecins Sans Frontieres (MSF), he shows how receiving antiretroviral (ARV) treatment means his status is not a death sentence.

When I found out that I was HIV-positive, I was training be a primary school teacher. I was aiming high.

 

Scared

My mum is a single parent and she was banking on me. Instead of buying land and building a house, she spent her money on my training.

I could not finish the course because I kept falling sick. When the doctor at the hospital said he wanted to do an HIV test, I kept refusing. I was scared I would be thrown out of college. I knew I had to avoid the test as long as possible.

One day the doctor said, "I want to do a full haemogram". He didn't explain what it was. It came back positive.

 

Why me?

It was a very bad story. The college was told the results and so I had to leave. I felt doomed. I was very angry and I was cursing myself. Why me? Why not somebody else?

My mum just used to cry, and when I told my brother he was very down. He didn't feel that this should happen in his family.

As the eldest I was supposed to be the torch bearer. My youngest brother couldn't continue school because there was no money. They were all relying on me. Now they thought that everything was finished.

 

Easier

I was feeling very sad. Hopeless.

I knew that people living with HIV were social outcasts, because they would die very quickly. I was in shock. I was now in that group. I asked myself, now what? Where will I get drugs? Will I marry, have kids? I couldn't sleep.

I walked along the railway line in Kibera thinking it would be best to be killed by a train. That would be the end and people would say that Charles died because he was hit by a train, not Aids. It would be an easier way to die.

Shedding scales

I went to stay with a friend but didn't tell him about my status.

There was no power - we just had a small candle. There was a water tap outside. We could only afford vegetables.

We used to share a bed and I slept in it when he went to work. one time he said to me "Charles - does your body shed scales? What sickness are you suffering from?" I thought that it was his way of saying, "Please, I'm tired of you - go and get your own house."

Lucky

I met a counsellor called Tom at a clinic run by MSF. We talked and talked and talked about my problems.

They did a CD4 test of my immune system to see whether I should start taking antiretroviral drugs. My CD4 count was 20! So I was very far gone. Usually you should start on antiretrovirals when you are below 200. I was way under the line.

I count myself as very lucky. The drugs have changed my life so much. I was going down, down, down and now I'm going up, up!

Adherence

Starting the drugs was difficult - I didn't have very bad side effects, but I lost my appetite. After four months I became strong. I could stand for long hours. I found a job as a social worker at a school for Aids orphans. It was enough to pay the rent for a small house.

I don't ever forget to take my drugs - adherence is very, very important. I always set my phone alarm, so that I am reminded.

Everything will be OK if there are drugs available. I just pray I don't become resistant to them.

Proof

I took this picture outside my friend's house in Kibera. There is a lot of sewage and rubbish outside the house and we were trying to clear it away.

I took the photo to prove that I am strong and can work. I am active now - I need nobody to help me.

I used to think that I would never be able to work again.

My body was so weak and thin, and I was so tired. I could not do a lot of things. But now I can do anything.

Normal

I found other people like me. We formed support groups and we talk and talk. We encourage one another. I am braver. People have come to know that HIV is something you can manage - it is not a death sentence.

I befriended a lady who is also HIV-positive and we decided to live together.

When we met we said, "birds of a feather stick together". We want to buy some land and build a home. Just because we are HIV-positive doesn't mean we can't have relationships. We are just normal human beings.

Reap rewards

Now I work at an HIV clinic. I like it very much because I deal with people like me.

Things have changed so much. I've got fat and am doing a busy job. I know that I will achieve whatever I want, and my family will reap the rewards. Everyone laughed at my mum but now I support her.

It's all because of the drugs. If I had not been able to get free medicine, I don't know what would have happened. Many would have died - me included.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/shared/spl/hi/picture_gallery/05/africa_my_life_with_hiv/html/1.stm